This time around, I was just super heartbroken. So coming home to see all my stuff gone and not knowing who she’s with… I was just devastated. So when I knew there was nothing to hide, I had everything to offer her. She often said, “You don’t love me because you never want to do things with me.” But it was because I kept having to hide from her all the time. We were married for nine years. For some reason, I was thinking about how amazing it would be to enjoy Christmas with her while being clean. But after that, decided she didn’t want to be with me anymore. It was an amazing high that was better than any drug I’ve ever taken, to just finally know and see the real me. Once I got clean, I felt this confidence come over me where I thought I could do anything. I thought I was doing it for her but halfway through, I thought “No dude, you’re doing this for yourself.” So that’s when I first went to rehab, and thought everything was fine when I got back home. I took that too early - because there was so much other stuff in my system - and I went through this insanely precipitated withdrawal period by myself in the house. I had a terrible moment where I started taking Suboxone, which is what they give to heroin addicts.
So it became noticeable that something was wrong. Was the divorce a wake up call to go to rehab?ĭuring our third year of marriage, it got to a point where I was having seizures because I was on so much stuff. I’m blessed with a big following and if I can touch anyone with my story, that will keep me clean. So this album is my realization that I can use music to help other people. Originally, I was ashamed of my addiction and I didn’t want anyone to know I went to rehab. There’s a lot of misconception of me and how things went down with my divorce. Why is now the right time to tell your story through music?
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